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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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vee13

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vee13
  • Town/Country : mississauga, canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 May 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 276
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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vee13's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (2531)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (32550) - you deserved it (1803)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (17661) - you deserved it (6244)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (6455)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (39609) - you deserved it (2545)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

#6537885 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (6679)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Stressmess - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (2845)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (2429)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (7675) - you deserved it (26532)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (2091)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

#6268851 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (4140)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (3279)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

#5608454 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (2035)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (19663) - you deserved it (3512)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)



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