About vanillacocoa : Hi I like pies XD I like rainbows and muffins and unicorns and all sorts of crap you people call random these days. I don't care, im young and LOVIN IT
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15871) - you deserved it (27899)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (15929)
On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6352) - you deserved it (18567)
On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (2901)
On 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30246) - you deserved it (2181)
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7794) - you deserved it (32114)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9298) - you deserved it (18165)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (2923)
On 06/14/2010 at 9:50am - health - by greenblue90 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45605) - you deserved it (2035)
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3731) - you deserved it (47774)
On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16644) - you deserved it (6346)
On 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm - animals - by doggie_doo_face (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4633) - you deserved it (37735)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (2864)
On 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by sickofsick - United States
Today, I came home from my 2 week trip to Florida. At the airport, the door said "Enter Only", while a sign above it said "Do not enter." Long story short, I got arrested for "disobeying signs." Nothing says "Welcome home" like being arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19766) - you deserved it (3218)
On 12/22/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15959) - you deserved it (2865)
On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Friday 24 May 2013
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