About vanillacocoa : Hi I like pies XD I like rainbows and muffins and unicorns and all sorts of crap you people call random these days. I don't care, im young and LOVIN IT
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vanillacocoa's favorite FMLs
by lisacasabonita / 11/12/2010 at 11:31am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML
by hot4donny / 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML
by soapypete / 10/22/2010 at 9:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
by tikizombie / 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Hobbsie / 08/29/2010 at 12:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by greenblue90 / 06/14/2010 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by nutcracker / 02/23/2010 at 4:28am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML
by doggie_doo_face / 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
by sickofsick / 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States / Health
Today, I came home from my 2 week trip to Florida. At the airport, the door said "Enter Only", while a sign above it said "Do not enter." Long story short, I got arrested for "disobeying signs." Nothing says "Welcome home" like being arrested. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2009 at 5:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
by Arachnaphobic / 11/22/2009 at 3:35am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I…