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vanillacocoa

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vanillacocoa
  • Town/Country : Tauranga , New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 April 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 769
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vanillacocoa : Hi I like pies XD I like rainbows and muffins and unicorns and all sorts of crap you people call random these days. I don't care, im young and LOVIN IT

vanillacocoa's last visitors

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vanillacocoa's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of vanillacocoa's badges

vanillacocoa's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (7055)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

#17680129
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (3736)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by stupidboys - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (10176)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (2848)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19611) - you deserved it (45543)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

#15835287
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (3689)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (7682)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

#15221957
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (7460)

On 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65527) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

#14689339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (4404)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

#14533533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26138) - you deserved it (3662)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (5408)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

#14486869
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6532) - you deserved it (37025)

On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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