vanillacocoa

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vanillacocoa

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 April 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2285
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vanillacocoa : Hi I like pies XD I like rainbows and muffins and unicorns and all sorts of crap you people call random these days. I don't care, im young and LOVIN IT

vanillacocoa's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:58pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 1:47pm<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:39pm<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 7:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 3:41pm<b>vadskimer</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:24am<b>EPKSPARTAN</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:58pm<b>wiscbaseball</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:27am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:03am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:05am<b>rabbiddog</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:32pm<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:28am<b>ShadyShroomz</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:29am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:10pm<b>notabastardchild</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:39pm<b>unnamedzero</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:17am

Fucked!<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:41pm<b>notabastardchild</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:39pm

vanillacocoa's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of vanillacocoa's badges

vanillacocoa's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

by stupidboys / 09/06/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

by John / 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

by sandwichmaker / 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

by gabxoxo03 / 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

by waterdog / 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm / United States / Work

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

by StinkyDogs / 03/27/2011 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

by theish / 02/04/2011 at 9:08am / Intimacy

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm / Isle of Man / Geek

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous