Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vanillacocoa

Search for a member

vanillacocoa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 April 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 954
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vanillacocoa : Hi I like pies XD I like rainbows and muffins and unicorns and all sorts of crap you people call random these days. I don't care, im young and LOVIN IT

vanillacocoa's page activity

Visits<b>Killer67a</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:37pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:32am<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:26am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:54pm<b>insomniacdreamer</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:06pm<b>freedomna</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 3:25pm<b>TINYKATE</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:24pm<b>mahughes</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 6:54pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:56am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:53pm<b>megcarpy</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 7:27pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 2:37pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:03am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:33pm<b>Bambibot</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:58am<b>norzkenolzn</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:42pm<b>jehrick</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 12:37am<b>lukeyhoward79236</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 7:04am

vanillacocoa's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of vanillacocoa's badges

vanillacocoa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21845) - you deserved it (5791)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10515) - you deserved it (23068)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (2405)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

#19775442
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (7347)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:34am - misc - by perfectman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (4570)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (3221)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML

#19738817
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19084) - you deserved it (7922)

On 06/05/2012 at 2:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (3065)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (2825)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (42626)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I admitted to my parents that I have an eating disorder. Instead of trying to help, my mom stared at me and said, "Duh". FML

#19695634
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21382) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/28/2012 at 9:38pm - misc - by Hungrey - United States

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30247) - you deserved it (6869)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (3980)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

#19630951
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22666) - you deserved it (1961)

On 05/16/2012 at 3:36am - work - by jobless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (3967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: