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vanillacocoa

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vanillacocoa
  • Town/Country : Tauranga , New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 April 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 774
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vanillacocoa : Hi I like pies XD I like rainbows and muffins and unicorns and all sorts of crap you people call random these days. I don't care, im young and LOVIN IT

vanillacocoa's last visitors

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vanillacocoa's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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vanillacocoa's favorite FMLs

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

#20019380
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (3687)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7359) - you deserved it (28208)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52252) - you deserved it (9696)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (31681)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27042) - you deserved it (3913)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (1567)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33122) - you deserved it (3042)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58975) - you deserved it (4705)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (1107)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

#19824273
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (9050)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by igiveup (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (3846)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)



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