vanillacocoa

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vanillacocoa

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 April 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2407
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vanillacocoa : Hi I like pies XD I like rainbows and muffins and unicorns and all sorts of crap you people call random these days. I don't care, im young and LOVIN IT

vanillacocoa's page activity

Visits<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 2:19pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:58pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 1:47pm<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:39pm<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 7:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 3:41pm<b>vadskimer</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:24am<b>EPKSPARTAN</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:58pm<b>wiscbaseball</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:27am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:03am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:05am<b>rabbiddog</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:32pm<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:28am<b>ShadyShroomz</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:29am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:10pm<b>notabastardchild</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:39pm

Fucked!<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:41pm<b>notabastardchild</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:39pm

vanillacocoa's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of vanillacocoa's badges

vanillacocoa's favorite FMLs

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

by :$ / 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Infiltrator4444 / 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

by Arthurie / 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

by klanciee / 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

by Boar / 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

by igiveup / 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy