About vabva : I'm pretty diverse. I like all kinds of music, movies, and activities. I have a lot of strong opinions, but I am always interested in and *TRY* to respect others' opinions as well. The effort put into trying doesn't always prevail. I am married and have been since June 2010. I love my hubs and our 2 dogs and 3 cats.
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vabva's favorite FMLs
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
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