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utefan27

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utefan27

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 995
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About utefan27 : I love getting in trouble

utefan27's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:59pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:33pm

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utefan27's favorite FMLs

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14891) - you deserved it (100160)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73096) - you deserved it (5403)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94861) - you deserved it (20019)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47845) - you deserved it (10394)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84245) - you deserved it (223942)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59889) - you deserved it (8463)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (144816)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (69959)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100690) - you deserved it (272262)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92806) - you deserved it (9080)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (271361)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)



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