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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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usernamesarehard

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usernamesarehard
  • Town/Country : Kingston Upon Thames, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 April 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 620
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About usernamesarehard : I go to Hampton Boys School in Surrey and am in year 12 (AS Levels). Interests; Rowing, guitar, Rowing, scuba diving, Rowing, freediving, Rowing, flying etc plus anything I can't or am 'not allowed' to do.

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usernamesarehard's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (39375) - you deserved it (1670)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904 (296)

I agree, your life sucks (33268) - you deserved it (14574)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I've been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It's my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML

#6637794 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (1540)

On 12/06/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (12811) - you deserved it (21369)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (1501)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

#6147430 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (3038)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:44am - misc - by ishouldhidethekeys (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

#6134962 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35885) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you deserved it (2311)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (8682) - you deserved it (32417)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (2111)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (4323)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

#6085563 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (19486) - you deserved it (4170)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by dogsickftl - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

#6078140 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Mike (man) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

#6050280 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (7052) - you deserved it (26894)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:15am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (7704) - you deserved it (56078)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)