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ursa2000

Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 3:17pm) | Search for a member

ursa2000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 March 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6371
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ursa2000's page activity

Visits<b>neeena94</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 5:48pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 3:07am<b>mybabybella85</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 5:36am

ursa2000's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ursa2000's badges

ursa2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (9688)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51279) - you deserved it (4233)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

#20773825
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58303) - you deserved it (4082)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by mike - United States

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (5763)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52954) - you deserved it (9152)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54713) - you deserved it (5716)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52161) - you deserved it (4461)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58324) - you deserved it (4595)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65833) - you deserved it (5286)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (20724)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

#20758869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (3272)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm - misc - by AwkwardPotato - United States (California)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25208) - you deserved it (35867)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66720) - you deserved it (4417)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (64371) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68957) - you deserved it (6559)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)



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