urcadox

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urcadox

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2390
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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urcadox's page activity

Visits<b>lucik4690</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 9:50pm<b>hillorie</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 12:25am<b>jordinaelise</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 11:22pm<b>elodymayweeble</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Skrillexxx69</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 12:59am<b>SammySteel</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:46am<b>Wendy_5</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 8:10pm<b>missmonkie</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 10:24pm<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 2:06pm<b>Korro</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 7:09am<b>datgamerchick</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 4:07am<b>madmanmajor</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 10:02pm<b>LadysMan_21</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 8:00pm<b>random_ribbons</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 5:36am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 12/12/2012 at 6:16pm<b>In_some_bullshit</b> - the 11/19/2012 at 5:25am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 3:41pm<b>zebralover23</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 12:22am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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urcadox's favorite FMLs

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

by shitless88 / 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

by Bec / 07/25/2011 at 10:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

by BurnedByAWaiter / 05/24/2011 at 9:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

by TheNerd / 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

by Sola / 05/11/2011 at 12:10am / Geek