Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

urcadox

Search for a member

urcadox

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1767
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

urcadox's page activity

Visits<b>lucik4690</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 9:50pm<b>hillorie</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 12:25am<b>jordinaelise</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 11:22pm<b>elodymayweeble</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Skrillexxx69</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 12:59am<b>SammySteel</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:46am<b>Wendy_5</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 8:10pm<b>missmonkie</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 10:24pm<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 2:06pm<b>Korro</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 7:09am<b>datgamerchick</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 4:07am<b>madmanmajor</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 10:02pm<b>LadysMan_21</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 8:00pm<b>random_ribbons</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 5:36am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 12/12/2012 at 6:16pm<b>In_some_bullshit</b> - the 11/19/2012 at 5:25am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 3:41pm<b>zebralover23</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 12:22am

urcadox's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of urcadox's badges

urcadox's favorite FMLs

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13015) - you deserved it (41304)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
98 comments

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (2997)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (8735)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32251) - you deserved it (7961)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17335) - you deserved it (31352)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (3103)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43537) - you deserved it (3568)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you deserved it (7561)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you deserved it (18329)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11311) - you deserved it (63438)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20307) - you deserved it (60919)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

#16136002
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31087) - you deserved it (8965)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43791) - you deserved it (4594)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: