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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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unplugged
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  • Number of visits : 266
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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unplugged's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (4894)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (3159)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (5545)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363057) - you deserved it (401408)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104 (987)

I agree, your life sucks (48720) - you deserved it (274150)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)