About unluckyluis : not very lucky
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (1320)
On 01/12/2010 at 2:18am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (4057)
On 01/11/2010 at 2:28am - love - by TattedAsian (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (1957)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (2222)
On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14846) - you deserved it (4143)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by iamshrimpy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53313) - you deserved it (2576)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23204) - you deserved it (2141)
On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6026) - you deserved it (43496)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70265) - you deserved it (3935)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (2621)
On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (1906)
On 12/04/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by tawan - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (5711)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5163) - you deserved it (51864)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14742) - you deserved it (23688)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (123602) - you deserved it (4822)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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