unjustlychicken

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unjustlychicken

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3316
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About unjustlychicken : "why'd you think they were AA batteries?"
"because there was two of them..."

unjustlychicken's page activity

Visits<b>Allornone</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 9:53pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:30am<b>pianotie</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:01am<b>hamburgerjung</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:37am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:50pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:03am<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:19am<b>supernerd95</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:12am<b>omgpp</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:35am<b>FrancesShiver</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:33pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:57am<b>icnburbbygrl</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:40am<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:01am<b>l1zZY</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:46am<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:48pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:55am<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:45am

Fucked!<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:30pm

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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unjustlychicken's favorite FMLs

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

by off to the whorehouse, then / 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Intimacy

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

by KBBL / 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

by fiercehawk / 02/18/2014 at 12:45am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

by kyyle / 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

by bnc / 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

by nosebleeder / 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm / Sweden / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2013 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

by Roxy19 / 01/22/2013 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

by Abendigo77 / 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous