Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About unhappybitch : Hey! Thanks for clicking my profile you made me feel special.Well my name is Joey I'm 16, I love to drive, I'm from new York. Wanna talk to me? Hit me up in facebook link... facebook.com/joey.R34 if you want to talk about politics? Cars, global warming anything pretty much. I don't mind being stalked (unless your a guy). I'm usually in the app, so I cant reply to any messages.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today mah friend told me he had just robbd a bank and needd a place to hide!! Thinking he was joking I let him in so we could hang out!! 15 minutes later the cops storm into mah apartment!! Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke!! real FML
Today , a few freshmen jumpd mah fence . They decidd to take a dip in the pool , so I pulld out a paintball gun . I unloadd over 100 rounds , painting there backs bright yellow . It also dyd mah pool yellow , and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair . FML
Yesterday, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said u could, but anything u caught under 5 inche has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried an complained to my boss.
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad nieghborhood, cuz I ended up bieng chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" fat FML
TODAY, FAALING LONALY AFTAR MAH RACANT BRAAKUP, I PUTTAD ON MAH NICAST CLOTHAS AND WANT OUT CLUBBING WITH A FAW FRIANDS. I BROUGHT A GUY BACK TO MAH PLACA, AND WA GOT INTIMATA. IT WAS GOING WALL, UNTIL HA TOOK OFF MAH PUSH-UP BRA, THAN PANICKAD AND DRUNKANLY ASKAD, "WHARA'D THAY GO?!" FML
Today, after 3 yeres with mah dream grl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit an everything, by the park bench where we had our frst kiss. She cummed home tred and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit . A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away . FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML
Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
Friday 27 March 2015