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undeadcupcake19

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undeadcupcake19

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  • Number of visits : 632
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undeadcupcake19's favorite FMLs

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#15024554
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39711) - you deserved it (4298)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24083) - you deserved it (4148)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

#15021227
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (7058)

On 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm - misc - by justmyluck? -

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (2861)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

#15013334
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24699) - you deserved it (5272)

On 02/17/2011 at 6:12am - health - by stillchubby (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

#15012596
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (3788)

On 02/17/2011 at 3:08am - health - by clashgurl8449 -

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

#15011616
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (3603)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

#15006025
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (8914)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (60185)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

#15004070
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/16/2011 at 4:08pm - misc - by clips (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML

#15001242
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (4745)

On 02/16/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by oheyimsarahh - United States

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

#15000344
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (36218)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

#14994829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (6411)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by Ihavealisp (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

#14984577
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (4159)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML

#14975268
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43862) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by bleu_noir (woman) - United States (California)



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