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un1corns's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
un1corns's favorite FMLs
by fluke / 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Awesome. / 09/14/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by mike / 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm / United States / Work
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Jackie Campbell / 07/12/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
by Snurkles / 07/07/2011 at 8:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work
by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous
by thanksfyi / 07/02/2011 at 5:51pm / Norway / Love
- Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, it was my last day working at my company. The whole staff was summoned to a meeting, but I…