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un1corns

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un1corns

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  • Number of visits : 1298
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 9:55am<b>dodo116</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:36pm<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:48pm<b>mFUNdo21</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 4:13am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:08am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:52am<b>ScenicSubterfuge</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>jaime1480</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>CorruptAngel920</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:51am<b>mowmowlife</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:33am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 10:56am<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 12:47am<b>BryanThaMan</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 6:38pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/17/2012 at 6:57am<b>KBear3109</b> - the 06/09/2012 at 11:44am

un1corns's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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un1corns's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

#17780455
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10587) - you deserved it (40287)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

#17747814
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (4522)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by Awesome. (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28073) - you deserved it (11493)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (4008)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (5449)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34840) - you deserved it (9640)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (3569)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

#17076544
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28089) - you deserved it (5506)

On 07/12/2011 at 3:14am - love - by Jackie Campbell - United States (Colorado)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10478) - you deserved it (75672) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (6367)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (3612)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33496) - you deserved it (4071)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41115) - you deserved it (2613)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

#16951432
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (4197)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:51pm - love - by thanksfyi (woman) - Norway



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