Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

un1corns

Search for a member

un1corns

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 999
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

un1corns's page activity

Visits<b>dodo116</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:36pm<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:48pm<b>mFUNdo21</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 4:13am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:08am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:52am<b>ScenicSubterfuge</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>jaime1480</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>CorruptAngel920</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:51am<b>mowmowlife</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:33am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 10:56am<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 12:47am<b>BryanThaMan</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 6:38pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/17/2012 at 6:57am<b>KBear3109</b> - the 06/09/2012 at 11:44am

un1corns's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of un1corns's badges

un1corns's favorite FMLs

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43117) - you deserved it (3232)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31217) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

#18390647
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12197) - you deserved it (24501)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:23am - work - by TheCrossingChick (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

#18381687
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (3025)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48609) - you deserved it (3746)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (2414)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11864) - you deserved it (56173)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (45390)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

#18329759
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31119) - you deserved it (5533)

On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43007) - you deserved it (2611)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

#18325546
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (5392)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

#18306408
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (40586)

On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45240) - you deserved it (2784)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

#18286848
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28316) - you deserved it (2249)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's "therapy" meetings have been with my best friend, in his truck. FML

#18286788
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (3543)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Aleial - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: