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un1corns

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un1corns

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  • Number of visits : 1512
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:18am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 9:55am<b>dodo116</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:36pm<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:48pm<b>mFUNdo21</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 4:13am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:08am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:52am<b>ScenicSubterfuge</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>jaime1480</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>CorruptAngel920</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:51am<b>mowmowlife</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:33am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 10:56am<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 12:47am<b>BryanThaMan</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 6:38pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/17/2012 at 6:57am<b>KBear3109</b> - the 06/09/2012 at 11:44am

un1corns's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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un1corns's favorite FMLs

Today my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31382) - you deserved it (4744)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

today I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was loosing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (4220)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)

Today , mah 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin . I still don't knowhat to say to him . FML

#18626435
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42310) - you deserved it (8330)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

TODAY , MAH BOYFRIEND TOLD ME LOVE IS LYK A DRUG. I STARTED TEARING UP BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC HE HAS BEEN IN A WHILE. HE THEN WENT ON TO BREAK UP WITH ME , TELLING ME THAT MAH ( PRESCRIPTION IS UP ). FML

#18577154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (3182)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, dad finally decidd to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If u ever decide to have sex, picture face like this" and pointd to his face,hich had a creepy, intense stare!! He just ruind sex 4 me!! Forever!! FML

#18467751
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44052) - you deserved it (5361)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today.. . I told mah boyfriend about how a few yeres ago I had cancer.. . an how I underwent radiation therapy . His response? "Did u glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, I went out in a storm to collect mah wheelie bin, which had flown down the street . On the way back to mah house, I realisd mah door had slammd shut an lockd behind me . That's okay though, a trampoline decidd to smash mah window an looool let me in . FML

Today... mah grlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe... she took all of mah cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

#18456700
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (6011)

On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States

Today, I noticd tat ma facial air ad grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to ma Dad and decidd to sow im, tinking e would approve of ma manliness. His exact wordsen I sowd im were, "Na, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (5199)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss . Turns out, the medicine he gave me for mah head has memory loss as a side effect . He then said "I told you . Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled . FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (2514)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point . I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him . My boss fred me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine . FML

#18423886
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38445) - you deserved it (2447)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, I DRASSAD UP AS SANTA CLAUS FIR MY AMPLOYAAS' CHILDRAN. AFTAR SAAING ALL THA OTHARS, MY DAUGHTAR'S TURN ARRIVAD. SHA SAT ON MY LAP, PUT HAR LIPS TO MY AAR, AND WHISPARAD SOFTLY: ( I WANT A NAW DAD. ) FML

#18418543
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57138) - you deserved it (5697) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, my friend an his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk an he startd walking home. While driving around looking fir him, I accidentally hit him with my car. real FML

#18417405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28717) - you deserved it (8813)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States

Today, I Told My Son He Couldn't Have A Toy. He Threw A Fit, Looked Me In The Eye, And Screamed, "Daddy's Right! You R A Bitch!" The Whole Store Was Watching. Big Fat FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (6068)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today... a private number called me telling me to ( Beware the water bottles ) as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window... hitting me. FML

#18408949
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (3005)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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