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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
today I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was loosing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML
TODAY , MAH BOYFRIEND TOLD ME LOVE IS LYK A DRUG. I STARTED TEARING UP BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC HE HAS BEEN IN A WHILE. HE THEN WENT ON TO BREAK UP WITH ME , TELLING ME THAT MAH ( PRESCRIPTION IS UP ). FML
Today, dad finally decidd to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If u ever decide to have sex, picture face like this" and pointd to his face,hich had a creepy, intense stare!! He just ruind sex 4 me!! Forever!! FML
Yesterday, I went out in a storm to collect mah wheelie bin, which had flown down the street . On the way back to mah house, I realisd mah door had slammd shut an lockd behind me . That's okay though, a trampoline decidd to smash mah window an looool let me in . FML
Today, I noticd tat ma facial air ad grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to ma Dad and decidd to sow im, tinking e would approve of ma manliness. His exact wordsen I sowd im were, "Na, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss . Turns out, the medicine he gave me for mah head has memory loss as a side effect . He then said "I told you . Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled . FML
TODAY, I DRASSAD UP AS SANTA CLAUS FIR MY AMPLOYAAS' CHILDRAN. AFTAR SAAING ALL THA OTHARS, MY DAUGHTAR'S TURN ARRIVAD. SHA SAT ON MY LAP, PUT HAR LIPS TO MY AAR, AND WHISPARAD SOFTLY: ( I WANT A NAW DAD. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015