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un1corns's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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un1corns's favorite FMLs
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML
by footfetish / 02/02/2013 at 6:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML
by Awkward / 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Health
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by JB / 09/09/2012 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by Sad Sally / 04/24/2012 at 7:22am / United States / Health
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML
by h4rdy / 03/09/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Ixi_the_pixie / 01/06/2012 at 11:16am / United States / Health
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Snurkles McGree / 12/29/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…