un1corns

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un1corns

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2218
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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un1corns's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:21pm<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:18am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 9:55am<b>dodo116</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:36pm<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:48pm<b>mFUNdo21</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 4:13am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:08am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:52am<b>ScenicSubterfuge</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>jaime1480</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>CorruptAngel920</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:51am<b>mowmowlife</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:33am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 10:56am<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 12:47am<b>BryanThaMan</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 6:38pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/17/2012 at 6:57am<b>KBear3109</b> - the 06/09/2012 at 11:44am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 4:21am

un1corns's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of un1corns's badges

un1corns's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

by dareyale / 07/26/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

by pinkXpress1023 / 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

by LaLince / 06/28/2013 at 4:17am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

by jealouspussy / 02/20/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

by nosebleeder / 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm / Sweden / Miscellaneous