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un1corns

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un1corns

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 989
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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un1corns's page activity

Visits<b>dodo116</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:36pm<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:48pm<b>mFUNdo21</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 4:13am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:08am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:52am<b>ScenicSubterfuge</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>jaime1480</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>CorruptAngel920</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:51am<b>mowmowlife</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:33am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 10:56am<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 12:47am<b>BryanThaMan</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 6:38pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/17/2012 at 6:57am<b>KBear3109</b> - the 06/09/2012 at 11:44am

un1corns's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of un1corns's badges

un1corns's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (80130)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38051) - you deserved it (3717)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43347) - you deserved it (31661) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42207) - you deserved it (4427)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (2701)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58237) - you deserved it (3785)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70642) - you deserved it (5614)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61930) - you deserved it (4954)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56463) - you deserved it (5802)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48209) - you deserved it (6822)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47216) - you deserved it (7766)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (11034)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (5005)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24743) - you deserved it (7422)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden



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