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ummmaiight

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ummmaiight
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 345
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ummmaiight's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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ummmaiight's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML

#18646853
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by naomids (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML

#18644424
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24221) - you deserved it (3067)

On 12/29/2011 at 2:01pm - health - by digressions (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

#18641039
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (6484)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML

#18640460
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (1746)

On 12/29/2011 at 12:53am - health - by garfield749 (man) - United States

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35655) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

#18622040
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (9032)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

#18542269
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (2232)

On 12/18/2011 at 3:32am - animals - by sammyxoxo - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

#18542269
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (2232)

On 12/18/2011 at 3:32am - animals - by sammyxoxo - Canada

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (2095)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

#18488568
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (67983)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37667) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (9468)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (22430)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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