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ummmaiight

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ummmaiight

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  • Number of visits : 407
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ummmaiight's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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ummmaiight's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33838) - you deserved it (2342)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML

#18957041
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (4722)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

#18907383
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you deserved it (4998)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend told me we've just been fuck buddies for the entire year we've been "together." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working up the courage to propose to her on our anniversary. FML

#18889421
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39486) - you deserved it (4353)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37268) - you deserved it (2215)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

#18869027
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (3587)

On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30042) - you deserved it (3307)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32974) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38816) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42581) - you deserved it (3824)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42930) - you deserved it (4397)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65140) - you deserved it (3130)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (9078)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (7968)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29419) - you deserved it (7703)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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