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umbrellacorp139

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umbrellacorp139

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 August 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 63
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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umbrellacorp139's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23567) - you deserved it (1356)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML

#19905347
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7721) - you deserved it (36189)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:13pm - kids - by momolee (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (4160)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

#19847673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17268) - you deserved it (5609)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm - misc - by hearingthings (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

#19719368
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28182) - you deserved it (11526)

On 06/02/2012 at 2:50am - misc - by OutOfTheCloset - United States (Texas)

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (3764)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (3974)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10742) - you deserved it (26809)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (2187)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (2967)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9274) - you deserved it (17801)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

#19376586
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (4578)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (7284)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had shelves installed using a builder who came highly recommended by my co-worker. Turns out the builder is her friend, who has no actual qualifications or experience as a builder, but 'it's his dream'. I now have a gaping hole in my kitchen where the shelves should be. FML

#18719100
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (4702)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by neveragain89 (woman) - Australia



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