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ulyguy

Offline (the 08/15/2014 at 5:59am) | Search for a member

ulyguy

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  • Number of visits : 884
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ulyguy's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:41pm

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ulyguy's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

#2496205
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58054) - you deserved it (6707)

On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boy friend said "you know who you remind me of? Sarah Palin." And then for the next 15 minutes continued to discuss how ugly she is. FML

#2401768
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46614) - you deserved it (3192)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jazzyfayyye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (140037)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83280) - you deserved it (10201)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (141214)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

#1987412
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (19205)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8093) - you deserved it (91377)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (188200)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

#174723
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13781) - you deserved it (46363)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)



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