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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55870) - you deserved it (4776)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68936) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28292) - you deserved it (2528)
On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33894) - you deserved it (6998)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (19030)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10691) - you deserved it (3359)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20407) - you deserved it (4384)
On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24982) - you deserved it (3729)
On 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Qwerty - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9251) - you deserved it (31122)
On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (6354)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50785) - you deserved it (2643)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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