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ugofficial
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1023
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ugofficial's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you deserved it (3710)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

#9095527
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (1816)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:19am - love - by kukadaman - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32389) - you deserved it (2792)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (33667)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (4562)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (4562)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (3615)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML

#8875865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33763) - you deserved it (1643)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm - money - by uneducated - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

#8867961
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5166) - you deserved it (40109)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (2675)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38690) - you deserved it (8815)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (1782)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (1782)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10155) - you deserved it (44858)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1094831) - you deserved it (108806)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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