Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ugofficial

Search for a member

ugofficial

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1341
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ugofficial's page activity

Visits<b>blinked_281</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:34pm

ugofficial's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ugofficial's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (5135)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

#9095527
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (1970)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:19am - love - by kukadaman - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (2989)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (37774)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (6007)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (6007)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28446) - you deserved it (4084)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML

#8875865
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39609) - you deserved it (2024)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm - money - by uneducated - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

#8867961
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6262) - you deserved it (44333)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31486) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44852) - you deserved it (9873)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28795) - you deserved it (2621)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28795) - you deserved it (2621)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13001) - you deserved it (50451)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1211175) - you deserved it (127362)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: