Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ucoolgirl31

Search for a member

ucoolgirl31

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1449
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ucoolgirl31 : I have the best sense of humor... :)
Message me if you please.
It's been a while guys but I'm back!
:)

ucoolgirl31's page activity

Visits<b>IAreBox</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:57am<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:47pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:29pm<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:39am<b>vikingchick</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:17am<b>minimanion</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:54pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:58pm<b>iMuffindrops</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:18pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:04pm<b>unotrea</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:31am<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:30pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:46am<b>marleybree</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:27am<b>poulkrebs</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:18am<b>CassandraGF</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:08pm<b>jakethegr81</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:02pm<b>martini47</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:32pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:42pm

ucoolgirl31's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ucoolgirl31's badges

ucoolgirl31's favorite FMLs

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44702) - you deserved it (3323)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56658) - you deserved it (3897)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (7432)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27183) - you deserved it (39368)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43449) - you deserved it (5871)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (2757)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49670) - you deserved it (13510)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56334) - you deserved it (4767)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50904) - you deserved it (5364)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50294) - you deserved it (8705)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73133) - you deserved it (6146)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46841) - you deserved it (8986)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49260) - you deserved it (6439)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: