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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54088) - you deserved it (9225)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54652) - you deserved it (9103)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24348) - you deserved it (8372)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47483) - you deserved it (8687)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42756) - you deserved it (6025)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8048) - you deserved it (39771)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by Goki (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (8495)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37365) - you deserved it (4676)
On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57283) - you deserved it (5570)
On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered in my wifes ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud because I was embarrassing her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34075) - you deserved it (4631)
On 06/06/2009 at 6:24am - love - by Discostu80 - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (15166)
On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8824) - you deserved it (35337)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (8187)
On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the deck of a sailboat and I started feeling seasick. I bent over the edge to throw up. After I stood back up, the wind changed direction and the boon swung around, knocking me into the open ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31902) - you deserved it (2879)
On 06/05/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Timmay (man) - United States
Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65194) - you deserved it (3233)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
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