About uHazFailedTotall : Go away, your bedtime is scaring everyone.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44877) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (4361)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44885) - you deserved it (4909)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my co-worker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager and accuses me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42732) - you deserved it (2631)
On 08/03/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42429) - you deserved it (5567)
On 07/17/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by lawliet_L (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61512) - you deserved it (9126)
On 07/15/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by broooooock (man) - United States
Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40603) - you deserved it (13006)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6940) - you deserved it (63619)
On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9105) - you deserved it (38544)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54699) - you deserved it (4821)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (1925)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54647) - you deserved it (6145)
On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - misc - by graduate - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59858) - you deserved it (5852)
On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (107300)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52305) - you deserved it (4040)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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