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uHazFailedTotall

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uHazFailedTotall
  • Town/Country : Sandnes, Norway
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2141
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About uHazFailedTotall : Go away, your bedtime is scaring everyone.

uHazFailedTotall's last visitors

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uHazFailedTotall's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48335) - you deserved it (2963)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (5269)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML

#4256639
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49174) - you deserved it (6036)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my co-worker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager and accuses me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML

#4252851
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45867) - you deserved it (3218)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML

#3785387
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66919) - you deserved it (11070)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by broooooock (man) - United States

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

#3737947
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (16109)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML

#3620839
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8606) - you deserved it (81160)

On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10421) - you deserved it (48700)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

#2761787
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45252) - you deserved it (2645)

On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML

#2655831
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55301) - you deserved it (6221)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - misc - by graduate - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63148) - you deserved it (7095)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (133728)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

#2004555
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58307) - you deserved it (5336)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)



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