uHazFailedTotall

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uHazFailedTotall

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4142
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About uHazFailedTotall : Go away, your bedtime is scaring everyone.

uHazFailedTotall's page activity

Visits<b>jengo54</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 11:22pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 5:24am<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 6:08pm<b>AzureDawn</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 1:24pm<b>Addiepop</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:41am<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:05pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:01pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:31am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:21pm<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 7:31pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:28pm<b>kev1316</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:07am<b>170107</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 6:41pm<b>maddiealexx_</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:55pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:06pm<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 6:52am<b>chicken_dip</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Kat_Kat23</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:46am

Fucked!<b>maddiealexx_</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 7:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:42pm

uHazFailedTotall's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

uHazFailedTotall's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

by lynxstorm / 11/16/2009 at 11:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML

by lloydLO / 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

by Bunni / 10/22/2009 at 6:22pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

by tessykins / 10/22/2009 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

by namhtor / 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 5:13am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

by nick2.0 / 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

by LaurahLunatic / 09/05/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

by Whoops / 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2009 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

by elevatorjerk / 09/02/2009 at 9:01am / United States / Work

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

by pootythe5th / 08/30/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous