Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

uHazFailedTotall

Search for a member

uHazFailedTotall
  • Town/Country : Sandnes, Norway
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1670
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About uHazFailedTotall : Go away, your bedtime is scaring everyone.

uHazFailedTotall's last visitors

SangomaSillydeadpersonDzra898perdixVeraUltimoSdeltaRedPillSucksBizzatchchalkdust

uHazFailedTotall's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

uHazFailedTotall's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I spent the night with my boyfriend as he promised me that his parents and younger brother, who I have yet to meet, were out of town until Tuesday. We were awoken by his mother screaming, telling me that she doesn't want girls in the house corrupting her baby boy. He's 20. FML

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

#8867961
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4028) - you deserved it (30358)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5174) - you deserved it (17515)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
216 comments

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
216 comments

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2459)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12884) - you deserved it (5604)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

#8791575
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15544) - you deserved it (1551)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:06am - animals - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18391) - you deserved it (2077)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19648) - you deserved it (1909)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (2709)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (2143)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (2143)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (2070)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: