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twinkiefeets

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twinkiefeets
  • Town/Country : NJ
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 May 1977 (36 years)
  • Number of visits : 844
  • Number of comments : 534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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twinkiefeets's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (7188)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36005) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35722) - you deserved it (2931)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46714) - you deserved it (5942)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38455) - you deserved it (13131)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (2480)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

#17720492
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (2649)

On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

#11015044
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (4952)

On 06/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by LilyL (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16233) - you deserved it (1712)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

#3107443
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52841) - you deserved it (2007)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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