twinkiefeets

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twinkiefeets

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 May 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1496
  • Number of comments : 534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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twinkiefeets's page activity

Visits<b>laurenstevens</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 1:55am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:16pm<b>storethis</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 11:22pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:31am<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:38pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 5:17am<b>jlmartin411</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:10am<b>Miku318</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 4:55pm<b>bogwarlock</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 7:51pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:30pm<b>gunnerette</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:12am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:49pm<b>grammarsnail</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:54am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 7:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:23am<b>fuckmyllfe</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 5:11pm

Fucked!<b>laurenstevens</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 7:55am<b>caaguilar</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:29am

twinkiefeets's FML badges

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twinkiefeets's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

by lyfisdyno / 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

by tkghan / 08/02/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

by phatdaddy62 / 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

by DarkDisaster / 12/27/2012 at 5:16am / United States / Animals

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

by ashprove611 / 12/27/2012 at 4:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

by Ross R / 12/27/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

by Bouh / 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm / Love

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

by hborkowski / 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

by you fuckhobbit / 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

by still had to pay / 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm / Australia / Kids

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

by still had to pay / 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm / Australia / Kids

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals