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twin1_1995

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twin1_1995

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 171
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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twin1_1995's page activity

Visits<b>megaman431</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:04pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 12:02am<b>WizardofWaxinAss</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 10:26pm<b>Ergayles</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 1:07pm

twin1_1995's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of twin1_1995's badges

twin1_1995's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (12345)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18170) - you deserved it (44780)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML

#4460221
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40370) - you deserved it (5422)

On 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML

#3611861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47482) - you deserved it (12316)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Fattie (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

#2363233
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63190) - you deserved it (2478)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62077) - you deserved it (5806)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
926 comments

I agree, your life sucks (353358) - you deserved it (38780)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243341) - you deserved it (32204)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101427) - you deserved it (6323)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (150845)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234300) - you deserved it (31067)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122495) - you deserved it (22213)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

#56080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10299) - you deserved it (36732)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:31pm - health - by LA (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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