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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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twilovers

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twilovers
  • Town/Country : Chicago, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 August 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 364
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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twilovers's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

#2211360 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (33496) - you deserved it (17798)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

#1980136 (407)

I agree, your life sucks (48356) - you deserved it (37871)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (60069)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (114323)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (16853)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)