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twenty

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twenty

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18071
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twenty's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:37pm<b>trukillapanda</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:27pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:36am<b>nuclear</b> - the 10/08/2009 at 3:07am<b>elgeish</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 12:15am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 11:31pm<b>blargity</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 4:33pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 12:47am<b>Hemlock420</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 7:35am<b>STN</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 1:55pm<b>jonte0ne</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:40pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 12:39am<b>xabuko</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 5:54pm<b>altna</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 5:48pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:16pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 10:36am<b>bsw001</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 10:31pm

twenty's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

twenty's favorite FMLs

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81271) - you deserved it (16047)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

#642642
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15105) - you deserved it (70486)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167483) - you deserved it (34008)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was entered into an online contest where they announce your name on the radio and if you call in within an hour they pay your bills for you. I'm unemployed, so I got really excited when they announced my name. My call wouldn't go through - I hadn't paid my phone bill and the line was disconnected. FML

#630106
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65173) - you deserved it (26265)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:24pm - money - by Broke (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105956) - you deserved it (5501)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then proceded to joke about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (108621)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML

#436547
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97892) - you deserved it (18180)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (63786)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52238) - you deserved it (97949)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

#271992
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (84943)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:35pm - intimacy - by awkwardgayboi (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (127686)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233512) - you deserved it (14754)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

#264253
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (57654)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81803) - you deserved it (6347)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)



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