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twenty

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twenty

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19133
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twenty's page activity

Visits<b>jsb1426</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:12pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:37pm<b>trukillapanda</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:27pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:15am<b>ha</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:36am<b>nuclear</b> - the 10/08/2009 at 3:07am<b>elgeish</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 12:15am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 11:31pm<b>blargity</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 4:33pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 12:47am<b>Hemlock420</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 7:35am<b>STN</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 1:55pm<b>jonte0ne</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:40pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 12:39am<b>xabuko</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 5:54pm<b>altna</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 5:48pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:16pm

twenty's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

twenty's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML

#742208
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12410) - you deserved it (77298)

On 04/01/2009 at 5:18am - misc - by esv (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90878) - you deserved it (19038)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 8-year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number key-pad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

#740938
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65161) - you deserved it (9502)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML

#724794
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53582) - you deserved it (31951)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML

#724794
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53582) - you deserved it (31951)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML

#724794
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53582) - you deserved it (31951)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (69635)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (184606) - you deserved it (12360)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

#721624
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71318) - you deserved it (22369)

On 03/31/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML

#696995
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36523) - you deserved it (63072)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by lauren (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, two really hot guys pulled up in a car next to mine. They were waving at me and pointing down, I figured they were being pigs so I flipped them off. Turns out they were trying to warn me of the flat tire I had. FML

#689967
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you deserved it (79575)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:14pm - misc - by flattire (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61488) - you deserved it (3815)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (191552)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109403) - you deserved it (23424)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86436) - you deserved it (17240)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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