twenty

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twenty

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19835
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twenty's page activity

Visits<b>jsb1426</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:12pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:37pm<b>trukillapanda</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:27pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:15am<b>ha</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:36am<b>nuclear</b> - the 10/08/2009 at 3:07am<b>elgeish</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 12:15am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 11:31pm<b>blargity</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 4:33pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 12:47am<b>Hemlock420</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 7:35am<b>STN</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 1:55pm<b>jonte0ne</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:40pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 12:39am<b>xabuko</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 5:54pm<b>altna</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 5:48pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:16pm

twenty's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

twenty's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

by jonas_93 / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

by InsideActress / 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

by Shnur / 04/05/2009 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML

by lifestinks / 04/05/2009 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

by Nikki / 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

by Nottheprettylady / 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went and got a spray on tan. I forgot to push the hair cap up. A few hours later, I was completely tan, except for the top half of my forehead was pasty white. It will last for five days. FML

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

by healey16 / 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML

by SupaSu / 04/02/2009 at 1:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:36am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous