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twenty

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twenty
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 17814
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twenty's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

#920933
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63460) - you deserved it (1853)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

#888437
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9867) - you deserved it (63283)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (124645)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58765) - you deserved it (8848)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58765) - you deserved it (8848)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (57649)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (57649)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14090) - you deserved it (84365)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159684) - you deserved it (8611)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

#844380
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7976) - you deserved it (71893)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12859) - you deserved it (208006)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

#819643
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112732) - you deserved it (6693)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

#818670
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88572) - you deserved it (26482)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by dfhgblsf (man) - United States (Florida)



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