twenty

Search for a member

twenty

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19589
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

twenty's page activity

Visits<b>jsb1426</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:12pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:37pm<b>trukillapanda</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:27pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:15am<b>ha</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:36am<b>nuclear</b> - the 10/08/2009 at 3:07am<b>elgeish</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 12:15am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 11:31pm<b>blargity</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 4:33pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 12:47am<b>Hemlock420</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 7:35am<b>STN</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 1:55pm<b>jonte0ne</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:40pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 12:39am<b>xabuko</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 5:54pm<b>altna</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 5:48pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:16pm

twenty's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

twenty's favorite FMLs

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

by tomandjerry / 05/21/2009 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML

by Cantswim / 05/20/2009 at 11:45am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML

by EricCartman / 05/19/2009 at 11:31pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

by Deconstructed / 05/19/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

by laptopsRus / 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me. FML

by SKuser / 05/19/2009 at 4:09am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

by KarlwithaK / 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

by emoney / 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

by sonofmilf / 05/17/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

by penguinsfan / 05/16/2009 at 10:47am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

by killer / 05/16/2009 at 8:21am / Latvia (Riga) / Animals

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

by badmom101 / 05/16/2009 at 7:26am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids