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twenty

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twenty
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 17806
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15224) - you deserved it (56400)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60025) - you deserved it (3273)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML

#2110420
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47395) - you deserved it (8734)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Cantswim (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

#2109937
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67561) - you deserved it (6286)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML

#2100756
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (5399)

On 05/19/2009 at 11:31pm - misc - by EricCartman (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

#2082819
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37980) - you deserved it (24121)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by Deconstructed (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (38284)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me. FML

#2073712
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59418) - you deserved it (4086)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:09am - love - by SKuser (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69082) - you deserved it (2992)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

#2004555
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58321) - you deserved it (5339)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

#1975711
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14250) - you deserved it (47107)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by penguinsfan (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

#1973503
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (52010)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

#1973147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48058) - you deserved it (5546)

On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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