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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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twenty

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twenty
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 May 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 16223
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twenty's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

#3581512 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (61296) - you deserved it (10725)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

#3579421 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (39784) - you deserved it (2057)

On 07/08/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML

#3308515 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (48660) - you deserved it (2257)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:43pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

#3176969 (366)

I agree, your life sucks (56009) - you deserved it (8229)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (12649) - you deserved it (70641)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML

#3169112 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (16195) - you deserved it (30119)

On 06/24/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by blind (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

#3051580 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (46524) - you deserved it (2104)

On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)

Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. She celebrated her birthday two months ago. She decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML

#2459455 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (53072) - you deserved it (3103)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML

#2459150 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (16346) - you deserved it (54639)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

#2431161 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (12881) - you deserved it (38891)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by eayers2689 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

#2424875 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (60426) - you deserved it (3729)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:52am - intimacy - by nevergoingonabusagain (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

#2422522 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (35380) - you deserved it (5915)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (13283) - you deserved it (44916)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML

#2413563 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (2721)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Wade (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

#2406815 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (39093) - you deserved it (3329)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)