Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

turtlegrl66

Search for a member

turtlegrl66

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1970
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

turtlegrl66's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:39pm<b>AHopelessDeath</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 3:47am<b>AleCS</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 2:03am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/24/2012 at 4:36am

turtlegrl66's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of turtlegrl66's badges

turtlegrl66's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (2580)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43587) - you deserved it (4539)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48487) - you deserved it (8157)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know..." and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

#18864868
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (1888)

On 01/20/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by shellski (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (3925)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37828) - you deserved it (6079)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

#18844355
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (4676)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:02pm - misc - by terrified - United States

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40199) - you deserved it (9630)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML

#18817356
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6693) - you deserved it (35611)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:36pm - misc - by Rebecca (woman) - Canada

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

#18815137
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (4566)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

#18804731
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (11882)

On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (3683)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML

#18788734
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (29075)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19908) - you deserved it (39161)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: