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turtlegrl66's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
turtlegrl66's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
by Shone / 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML
by dcort / 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
by littlekellilee / 03/08/2012 at 11:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by ohdang / 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
by kal / 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by whattabrat / 02/26/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML
by ashleynicolle / 02/25/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
by Samm Povich / 02/25/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by chlolivia / 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in… Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't… Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML