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turtlegrl66

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turtlegrl66

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1986
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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turtlegrl66's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:39pm<b>AHopelessDeath</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 3:47am<b>AleCS</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 2:03am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/24/2012 at 4:36am

turtlegrl66's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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turtlegrl66's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

#19474483
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (3331)

On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9972) - you deserved it (61325)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21575) - you deserved it (11871)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

#19243836
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (6857)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

#19238857
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (2154)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by littlekellilee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (9274)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (3406)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (7715)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9819) - you deserved it (31825)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9399) - you deserved it (31689)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38091) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

#19067640
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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