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turtlegrl66

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turtlegrl66

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2015
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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turtlegrl66's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:39pm<b>AHopelessDeath</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 3:47am<b>AleCS</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 2:03am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/24/2012 at 4:36am

turtlegrl66's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of turtlegrl66's badges

turtlegrl66's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML

#20001581
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (1820)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16889) - you deserved it (1667)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29485) - you deserved it (2584)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (2695)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

#19998370
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (1937)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21610) - you deserved it (15022)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22313) - you deserved it (1387)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML

#19991846
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8216) - you deserved it (20295)

On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (2362)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (4459)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (1946)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (2131)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

#19967913
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (17650)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (4399)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)



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