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turtlegrl66's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
turtlegrl66's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
by ohcrap / 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Owen / 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
by screwed / 11/04/2012 at 4:55am / United States / Intimacy
by xXfloatingshitlogXx / 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
by OhLovely / 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by prettylady? / 10/28/2012 at 12:22am / United States / Love
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
by Ceej / 10/28/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids
by bill / 10/24/2012 at 7:14am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
by preggersmcgee / 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Randolph / 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by whatadaydanny / 10/10/2012 at 9:58am / Dominica / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…