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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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TODAY, MY COUSIN TOLD ME THAT THE STOP SIGNS OUTLINED WITH A WHITE LINE WERE OPTIONAL. LATER, A COP PULLED ME OVER, WHEN I ASKED WHY HE SAID, "YOU RAN THAT STOP SIGN BACK THERE." I EXPLAINED WHAT MY COUSIN HAD TOLD ME AN HE LOOKED AT ME FUNNY AN REPLIED, "ALL STOP SIGNS HAVE A WHITE OUTLINE." MEGA FML
2day Mah Husband An I Were Having Sex In The Shower While Our 5-year Old Was Sleeping. Apparently , She Wasn't Sleeping An She Askd Me What Those Loud Noises Were. I Told Her I Was Singing. Now I Can't Get Her To Stop "singing" In The Shower. FML
Taday I bought a top with some other things!! I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall!! I had to use the reciept from the store!! I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag!! I needed that reciept to get the top!! FML
Yesterday, mom told boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to master bait in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chair and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if mom was there to make me stop. fat FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today I was a TA 4 a history class an tha class was taking a tast. About halfway through I noticd ona kid had a small piaca of papar in his hand. I ran up tha row grabbd his tast an rippd it into four piacas. Than I took tha nota from him. It said "I baliava in you -Mom." big fat FML
Yesterday, I heard mah next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto mah balcony an asked if everything was okay, an if she needed anything. She an her boyfriend shout back in unison: ( We're F*ing, go away ). FML
Friday 27 March 2015