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turtlegrl66

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turtlegrl66
  • Town/Country : Melbourne , Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1749
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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turtlegrl66's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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turtlegrl66's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (1326)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4802) - you deserved it (21775)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (3590)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39803) - you deserved it (6359)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36304) - you deserved it (3184)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (1918)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (4996)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

#20167730
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17302) - you deserved it (1403)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:02am - work - by soldnone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30095) - you deserved it (1822)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

#20159802
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21250) - you deserved it (1222)

On 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm - misc - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19478) - you deserved it (1872)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21178) - you deserved it (1751)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)



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