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turtlegrl66's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
turtlegrl66's favorite FMLs
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
by kenleybunch / 03/12/2013 at 9:22am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
by smokeysarah94 / 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
by please leave... / 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by tongue tied / 02/11/2013 at 3:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 2:58am / United States / Work
by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Animals
by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…