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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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turbosexophonic

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turbosexophonic
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 December 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 493
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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turbosexophonic's favorite FMLs

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (1385)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

#5391347 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (25161) - you deserved it (9692)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (10322)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (4322)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (8524) - you deserved it (51752)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (42995) - you deserved it (2238)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34985) - you deserved it (98555)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)