tumandro

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tumandro

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5746
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tumandro's page activity

Visits<b>Jason324</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:06pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 3:51am<b>plexico</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 5:35pm

tumandro's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tumandro's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

by Heather / 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Holidays

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm / Poland (Katowice) / Miscellaneous

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

by ailat0107 / 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 9:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Macy's to buy some bras. After I paid, the old lady cashier noticed there was pen on one of the bras. By accident I blurted out "It's alright. No one's seeing them." The old lady nodded back in agreement. FML

by yikes78 / 05/31/2009 at 9:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

by lfssecond / 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

by willieboom / 05/30/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML

by peopleinthepark / 05/30/2009 at 10:46am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

by mraow123 / 05/30/2009 at 1:04am / United States / Animals

Today, my grandparents were staying over my house for a couple of nights. As I was walking to my bathroom in the middle of the night, I noticed their door was open, and my grandfather was awake. I tried to say 'Hi' to him, but he didn't hear me. I then noticed that he was masturbating. FML

by ima_krackerr / 05/30/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

by sdasdflkjas / 05/30/2009 at 12:24am / United States / Kids

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

by LALALALA / 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

by Jeanine / 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous